There are three men who inhabit the hobbit hole of the Leigh residence.
Me, Dad and Dave.
All of us have the same size shoe (12 if your interested)
This means that if we have to go to the shed for something it doesn't really matter which shoes you get to because they all fit. For that short period of time no-one really cares.
However, there are some occasions when shoes belonging to another person fall into the hands of the wrong Leigh. Normally its me stealing the shoes but only when my shoes have broken etc.
Strangely i once stole a pair of size nines, i didn't realise till i got home because i could be bothered to put them on. (sorry about that Tris)
I got my own shoes back from that evening to find a hole in the bottom so i had to borrow some of Dave's until i got some more of my own. Dave has broken the unsaid pact of leaving other peoples shoes well alone.
The new shoes i bought it seems have dave quite taken by them, and he has taken my shoes without asking and spent the weekend house sitting for sussanah crowther. What he doesnt realise is that they are my ONLY PAIR OF DECENT SHOES. Which has left me parading around in a pair of his.
Dave i want my shoes back!
Sunday, 7 August 2011
Friday, 5 August 2011
Top of the foodchain?
Sad to hear about those lads in Norway where one got killed.
Sad as it is it led to a frequently had debate with my father, saying that i take after my father not just in looks but also stubbornness any "debate" we may enter never gets resolved unless one person brings scientific evidence acceptable in the court of law.
"Matt", he says, "see there's the proof, polar bears are the top of the food chain"
See i disagree, and because of my impulse to jump in and prove my point that he is wrong im sat there, beads of sweat running down my temples and my teeth clenched under the pressure of someone speaking out there backside yet not wanting to jump in to the discussion because i dont have 3 hours spare.
After all humans, by the simple fact that we are everywhere and in general most confrontations with humans the polar bear loses.
After an excrutiating time of 24 seconds i cant stand it any longer.
"Dad, humans are the top of the food chain" the relief lasted for only a split second thanks to the big oafs opinions.
"No, Polar bears are" See not even a grown up response just NO IIIIIMMMM RIGHT or something like it, no reasoning, logic or anything that might make his point more correct.
"dad, if polar bears were the top they would be eating humans on a regularish basis to prove the fact, no i think youll find that they get shot or scared off or killed by global warming, all of which are caused by the guys above them, US!!"
I thought its over and saw his features (annoyingly close to my own) looking back over to the TV with the ever present gorm that overtakes my dads face when he watches TV.
I cant beleive it, I won
Thats the beauty with dad, i can be sat in the bliss of being right and proving it for a good half an hour before the programme finishes, his gorm diminishes and suddenly....
"Well you put a human in a field on his own against a polar bear and see who wins"
The closest to suicide i can get within a normal day is having differing opinions to my father.....
Sad as it is it led to a frequently had debate with my father, saying that i take after my father not just in looks but also stubbornness any "debate" we may enter never gets resolved unless one person brings scientific evidence acceptable in the court of law.
"Matt", he says, "see there's the proof, polar bears are the top of the food chain"
See i disagree, and because of my impulse to jump in and prove my point that he is wrong im sat there, beads of sweat running down my temples and my teeth clenched under the pressure of someone speaking out there backside yet not wanting to jump in to the discussion because i dont have 3 hours spare.
After all humans, by the simple fact that we are everywhere and in general most confrontations with humans the polar bear loses.
After an excrutiating time of 24 seconds i cant stand it any longer.
"Dad, humans are the top of the food chain" the relief lasted for only a split second thanks to the big oafs opinions.
"No, Polar bears are" See not even a grown up response just NO IIIIIMMMM RIGHT or something like it, no reasoning, logic or anything that might make his point more correct.
"dad, if polar bears were the top they would be eating humans on a regularish basis to prove the fact, no i think youll find that they get shot or scared off or killed by global warming, all of which are caused by the guys above them, US!!"
I thought its over and saw his features (annoyingly close to my own) looking back over to the TV with the ever present gorm that overtakes my dads face when he watches TV.
I cant beleive it, I won
Thats the beauty with dad, i can be sat in the bliss of being right and proving it for a good half an hour before the programme finishes, his gorm diminishes and suddenly....
"Well you put a human in a field on his own against a polar bear and see who wins"
The closest to suicide i can get within a normal day is having differing opinions to my father.....
Thursday, 4 August 2011
Flowers and Backpain
Ive got the flower shop job that ive been so relentlessly going on about for the past couple of weeks.
Being a pansey with flowers? no today i was shifting scrap and huge ceramic displays. I feel like an old man, a satisfied old man but still a "crisp" none the less ("crisp" is a thin, wrinkly and easily breakable person).
However on the whole its nice work that isn't too hard, nice people and regular pay
Now that's a tad better than my other option, where i would of been walking the random streets of a random city in the random east midlands. I would be knocking on doors and trying to convince whatever tatooed numpty who answers the door to give 2 quid a week to charity. What makes it better is that i would only be payed commission, oh yeh and id be going for 12 hours a day........
So overall a good day of being payed for lugging crap around, could be worse i suppose, well i did get soaked outside in the yard. How can it be so hot when its raining?!!!!!!
Being a pansey with flowers? no today i was shifting scrap and huge ceramic displays. I feel like an old man, a satisfied old man but still a "crisp" none the less ("crisp" is a thin, wrinkly and easily breakable person).
However on the whole its nice work that isn't too hard, nice people and regular pay
Now that's a tad better than my other option, where i would of been walking the random streets of a random city in the random east midlands. I would be knocking on doors and trying to convince whatever tatooed numpty who answers the door to give 2 quid a week to charity. What makes it better is that i would only be payed commission, oh yeh and id be going for 12 hours a day........
So overall a good day of being payed for lugging crap around, could be worse i suppose, well i did get soaked outside in the yard. How can it be so hot when its raining?!!!!!!
Wednesday, 3 August 2011
Paracetamol is a painkiller
I am going to get ribbed for this next sentence by all of you...
Mum I know your going to rib me for the following post......
I havnt done a post for a couple of days for a couple of reasons, most of all because i forgot but also cus i havnt felt so well. Which leads me to my main point, why when your ill does your mum keep on at you to take paracetemol?
Dont get me wrong its a wounderous substance that has taken away the headaches of many a long and boring lesson or maybe even the dull ache caused by the dodgy curry the night before.
For this purpose its brilliant, however when im ill there is one problem i have.
aside from the fact that i already feel like heaving without swallowing a solid capsule,painkillers are for pain.
if i had a headache or some sort of pain then yeh great but i feel ill not in pain.
And so i sit to my own business looking paler every minute with a couple of parents on at me to take pills which as far as i can work out arnt designed to help me in this situation. Dont get me wrong, it never gets to the point where there force feeding me..... Ive never let it get that far.
So here is the question, do painkillers kill nausea? As the name suggests no blatently not, if there is a nausea killing pill tell me and i wont hesitate to pop them instead.
Sunday, 31 July 2011
Its as hot as a sun burnt vindaloo
Have you ever seen a sun burnt vindaloo? no neither have i.
Which is exactly my point. its too hot. Since when does welsh weather make you feel like your in spain? since when does wollaton park end with you sweating like a pig? Well with me it does seem that happens in most situations...
Family is a weird subject for me, if anyone knows of the weird relations on my Dads side of the family you would understand my confusion. I dont really talk to my extended family much, mostly because we lead very different lives and the idea of extended family from both sides getting along doesn't really make sense in my head.
thats why when i had the chance to go to a castunstall gathering (see what i did there) i grasped the oppurtunity just to see cousins...TALKING IN ONE SOCIAL GATHERING
uncles get on, aunties are gossiping, lads are playing sports and jade is sat there with a magazine. It was well strange. Since when do families get on so well?
more importantly i see it as a threat to the rest of man kind. They know about everything and everyone before they should do because if one member knows someone then they all do because they talk.
Well that's scary, if you watch "the godfather" you will understand why.
At least its another bonding session that can only work for the better of the family my only problem is why in the hot summer would you meet in a deer infested field at wollaton hall?
Another event where ive come back "beached"
Which is exactly my point. its too hot. Since when does welsh weather make you feel like your in spain? since when does wollaton park end with you sweating like a pig? Well with me it does seem that happens in most situations...
Family is a weird subject for me, if anyone knows of the weird relations on my Dads side of the family you would understand my confusion. I dont really talk to my extended family much, mostly because we lead very different lives and the idea of extended family from both sides getting along doesn't really make sense in my head.
thats why when i had the chance to go to a castunstall gathering (see what i did there) i grasped the oppurtunity just to see cousins...TALKING IN ONE SOCIAL GATHERING
uncles get on, aunties are gossiping, lads are playing sports and jade is sat there with a magazine. It was well strange. Since when do families get on so well?
more importantly i see it as a threat to the rest of man kind. They know about everything and everyone before they should do because if one member knows someone then they all do because they talk.
Well that's scary, if you watch "the godfather" you will understand why.
At least its another bonding session that can only work for the better of the family my only problem is why in the hot summer would you meet in a deer infested field at wollaton hall?
Another event where ive come back "beached"
Saturday, 30 July 2011
Rennie and Fifa
Well over the last week in wales i do believe that we spent more time in the penthouse than anywhere else. After being in llanelli for five minutes thats kind of understandable. however being in an enclosed enviroment has its downfalls.
1. Video games are rampant when there are more than one male with a controller, unlike my gender peers im not that competitive which means i lose appaulingly.
I might not be competitive but i hate losing.
2. People with indigestion problems are at most within 10 feet of you at any one time.
The belches are majestic yet make you gag at the same time.
3. being next to the beach means that the penthouse is the watering stop when out in the sun, this means certain people end up "beached" on the sofa.
It may have been me but the smell is just the same no matter who you are.
4. If you sleep at this penthouse there may find a pair of rather feminine metal legs in your bed.
Personally i thought this was genius but apparently this is a bad thing.
At least the view was amazing and at least the company was better than playing football with an angry pitbull.
that is unless they beleive your jacket belongs to a small korean girl........
Thanks Guys
1. Video games are rampant when there are more than one male with a controller, unlike my gender peers im not that competitive which means i lose appaulingly.
I might not be competitive but i hate losing.
2. People with indigestion problems are at most within 10 feet of you at any one time.
The belches are majestic yet make you gag at the same time.
3. being next to the beach means that the penthouse is the watering stop when out in the sun, this means certain people end up "beached" on the sofa.
It may have been me but the smell is just the same no matter who you are.
4. If you sleep at this penthouse there may find a pair of rather feminine metal legs in your bed.
Personally i thought this was genius but apparently this is a bad thing.
At least the view was amazing and at least the company was better than playing football with an angry pitbull.
that is unless they beleive your jacket belongs to a small korean girl........
Thanks Guys
Friday, 29 July 2011
Rubba Dub Dub Thanks for the *ehem*...... Grub
The welsh town of Llinelli is a strange place.
The double ll in the word is not pronounced how you would think but sounds more like a spitting horse who has a particularly bad cough. It is also the only place where i have seen a burnt out car on a street which otherwise you would expect to find in an uptown suburb. The ASDA that is in the town is perhaps the only good attraction other than the beach which you arnt supposed to swim at (neither would you want to unless your name is luke). In fact in the past week on several occasions i have seen youths sat in the porch reception area.... hanging out.
That and its even possible to meet a local man who has never heard of nottingham or Robin Hood.
However despite these rather tepid surroundings filled with dodgy accents and a language which was invented by a man suffering with a cold and dyslexia at the same time, my time there has been completely different. For one, at "Celebration for the Nations" most people there were korean. The seaside views were amazing and i still cant figure out why you couldnt smell the sea even when you were 3 feet away.
6 hours a day of worship music, well i thought it would be too much, but even when i left the hall or sat at the back i dont think there has ever been a situation where it is undeniable that the whole room (singing or not) were talking to the big cheese ( out of awekwardness or not). Why on earth did they pick llanelli for this event?
Saying that 6 hours was all there was would be lying tbh, especially for alot of the koreans who i either saw in the meeting or outside praying, but for us humble shirelings from notts as well. I beleive that worship isnt just singing and any christian who has had any connection with riverside youth group will have been told this. There hasnt been any other moment that has shown the worship of god through freindship and in my case eating, at any other time in my life. Where else does a genius family of music meet with koreans, an everington, duo generations of wendels and freinds, a creature from lincoln with a first name disquised as his surname, the tellings and a lad who hasnt been called by his real first name since early childhood?
Only through the guy who made the rather rash decision to save a guy now known as Grub.
The double ll in the word is not pronounced how you would think but sounds more like a spitting horse who has a particularly bad cough. It is also the only place where i have seen a burnt out car on a street which otherwise you would expect to find in an uptown suburb. The ASDA that is in the town is perhaps the only good attraction other than the beach which you arnt supposed to swim at (neither would you want to unless your name is luke). In fact in the past week on several occasions i have seen youths sat in the porch reception area.... hanging out.
That and its even possible to meet a local man who has never heard of nottingham or Robin Hood.
However despite these rather tepid surroundings filled with dodgy accents and a language which was invented by a man suffering with a cold and dyslexia at the same time, my time there has been completely different. For one, at "Celebration for the Nations" most people there were korean. The seaside views were amazing and i still cant figure out why you couldnt smell the sea even when you were 3 feet away.
6 hours a day of worship music, well i thought it would be too much, but even when i left the hall or sat at the back i dont think there has ever been a situation where it is undeniable that the whole room (singing or not) were talking to the big cheese ( out of awekwardness or not). Why on earth did they pick llanelli for this event?
Saying that 6 hours was all there was would be lying tbh, especially for alot of the koreans who i either saw in the meeting or outside praying, but for us humble shirelings from notts as well. I beleive that worship isnt just singing and any christian who has had any connection with riverside youth group will have been told this. There hasnt been any other moment that has shown the worship of god through freindship and in my case eating, at any other time in my life. Where else does a genius family of music meet with koreans, an everington, duo generations of wendels and freinds, a creature from lincoln with a first name disquised as his surname, the tellings and a lad who hasnt been called by his real first name since early childhood?
Only through the guy who made the rather rash decision to save a guy now known as Grub.
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