It takes alot of people to make a good thing sound bad.

Cowboys and aliens.

Well it took a lot of people in a board meeting to think up that name,,,

"Well paul what does it include?"
Cowboys against aliens.
"I know what we shall call it...."

What a way to make a film seem worse than it is, give it a name that sums up the entire film in three words.
Even the Return of the king puts a downer on it. I mean even Tolkien didn't decide that name because it was a big fat spoiler before anyone spent the 4 and a half hours watching it.

There's been a history of film names that have done the same. Some with oscar winning actors, the men who stare at goats is one of them. Even star wars, the return of the jedi, the empire strikes back, a new hope. In fact if you wanted to sum up what happens just look at the titles in order and you can work it out.

Theres a new film coming out soon and this one is just brilliant.

Its called.....

THE THING


Im not even joking. Theres a guy who has written a script. It gets picked up by the director and somewhere in that process someone decides to call it that. Perhaps its a homage to the classic film...

THE BLOB


At least this has comedic value.

2 hours late with an early start

Well the university clearing houses were open on Thursday from 8 in the morning.

That means that people from all over the country were finding out there grades and contacting there uni's in a race to get there place from 8 in the morning.

That means of course, that the Nottingham Emmanuel school had to open at 10 instead.
Well not that it matters to me im in year 13 next term but hey all my mates are in that lovely place of trying to calculate little "UCAS" points from that general studies exam you forgot about, that allowed you to just get into uni.

This means that when the school gates are shut, there's a hundred of impatient 18/19 year olds and even though the teacher who i have rung has said you can come in through reception (i wont explain why i have there number, its a long story, amusing.... but i dont have the time or effort) the lovely and slightly mindless receptionist is having none of it because its not 10 oclock......

its ten to 10.

Results openings are one of two ways, GREAT

or TERRIBLE.

If you get awesome grades, GREAT, if you get ok grades that you worked reasonably well for, GREAT, if you get bad grades, TERRIBLE, if you get ok grades but you spent every waking hour of your life studying in silence, TERRIBLE, if you get amazing grades but a man with a gun to your parents heads is going to shoot if you get an A, well it could be terrible but it depends on your parents.

well for me i broke this rule and created a third way.

I got a B in drama, C in computing and a D in Psychology. Not bad.
And there it is, NOT BAD

Double Jeapordy

If you go out with Twins you will have several problems.

My solution is to go out with just one of them instead.....

Although this puts pressure on to you in other ways.
The twin that you are with will either be comparing herself with the other ones relationship meaning that if the other twin has a romantic meal out with her boyfriend you also will be subtly expected to do something similar.
If she isn't doing this then her family and friends, as well as your own family and friends will......

So for example if the other twin with red hair decides to get engaged..........
Thats bad enough but when you end up at the other twins wedding du, you find yourself in a room filled with people who are comparing you to the happy couple.

In fact there was even an official photographer that took mine and Cath's picture.
"because shes the chiefs bridesmaid."

I don't beleive that for one second. Its because the chief's bridesmaid so happens to be the brides twin sister. and as i am her boyfriend, that makes us next in line doesn't it............

And that unsaid belief amongst the family clan of spectators means that of course I must go meet them all.
There's Catherine showing me off...... Bad enough.

And you can see it in their eyes... what will the ring look like, when will it be, will they have children, yes they will! i wonder if it's a boy or girl...


Then at the point where i want to drop my mature and charming appearance, its sweet Catherine who makes it worse and confirms there suspicions by cooing over the nearest baby........

Wasted on Friday night

That's how i am, wasted...

Since there's no youth group through the holidays there will be several things that will be wasting tonight.

My time will be wasted watching "a question of sport" followed by whatever film is on film 4.

The many calories and energy that i will have taken in from my pizza will be wasted as i predict that for the rest of the night i will be sat.

I cant believe how different it is without youth group.

Normally i can be sure of the fact that it is the end of the week by getting on a minibus and spending the night mocking small teenagers. However the only proof in the holidays that it is the weekend is the knowledge that im at work tomorrow.....

This starts to get to me when i realize that im not missing out on my Saturdays as i then have the rest of the week to do nothing......

Then this gets to me as i then realize why weekends are normally so good

Because we've just had a week at work, school and college, a good Saturday of hanging out or doing nothing seems appealing.

Weeks of holiday...... bored

What have i come to, my cynicism has reached a new level.

Im criticizing the summer holiday

Misty eyed

Isn't it brilliant when you try and organize an ice skating trip with mates who are unable to come on the same day. Oh well, me and Dan had a nice time at least.

It seems though that hardly anyone else had the idea of going skating today, it was virtually empty.

In fact the place was only just opened for public use so the ice had a mist that was settled at a certain level.

This level was at a certain level equal to where Dan's head is. Bless.

At least he doesn't where glasses, for it means that you end up misty eyed. 

When only Dan is around that's not really what you want.

However Dan was the least ridiculous person out of the few that were at the rink.

We had a confrontation...... With a very angry lass that was about 20 who had a go at us for taking the banter out of a certain man in full grey tracksuit because of the kind of skates he was wearing.

The grey tracksuite would of been a more obvious target of mocking but no. I think the term that was used was

"There different skates, are they hockey cus there kind of in the middle"

Apparently this man was very upset with the comments he heard and would like an apology. 

Thats when the man himself came forward and quite frankly left us alone after we repeated what we had said.

5 minutes of skating time...... wasted by the numptys of the public. Political correctness has reached a new height.

If you say something about someone else, irrelevant of whether its negative or not, it is offensive.

Youths of Great Britain we need you!!!

Well it makes a lot of sense smashing into random shops...

It makes a lot of sense doing it in your own town...

And why wait for a reason thats big enough to warrant the smashing of your town, just do it for the sake of it....

What possible reason is there for it? Because you can get away with it?

Youths of great Britain we need you to change the culture of doing what you can without getting caught to a culture of doing what you can to change make your own town better.

There is no blaming the police in this one, they can only do as their employment rota allows.
Blame the politicians if you like but they arnt the ones who change the culture and attitudes behind this random chav outburst of children and morons.

We are all to blame with our own lack of morals which we pass down. Stand on our own, get rid of the people in the way, as long as your fine nothing else matters

As a God knowing man, im not surprised.

Why do we beleive in what we beleive? Because we beleive that without the use of love given to us from the big cheese events like over the past few nights will carry on and get worse.

 It isnt that these people need to know that its wrong.

they need to be shown whats right.

Sibling Shoe Thief

There are three men who inhabit the hobbit hole of the Leigh residence.

Me, Dad and Dave.
All of us have the same size shoe (12 if your interested)
This means that if we have to go to the shed for something it doesn't really matter which shoes you get to because they all fit. For that short period of time no-one really cares.

However, there are some occasions when shoes belonging to another person fall into the hands of the wrong Leigh. Normally its me stealing the shoes but only when my shoes have broken etc.

Strangely i once stole a pair of size nines, i didn't realise till i got home because i could be bothered to put them on. (sorry about that Tris)

I got my own shoes back from that evening to find a hole in the bottom so i had to borrow some of Dave's until i got some more of my own. Dave has broken the unsaid pact of leaving other peoples shoes well alone.

The new shoes i bought it seems have dave quite taken by them, and he has taken my shoes without asking and spent the weekend house sitting for sussanah crowther. What he doesnt realise is that they are my ONLY PAIR OF DECENT SHOES. Which has left me parading around in a pair of his.

 Dave i want my shoes back!

Top of the foodchain?

Sad to hear about those lads in Norway where one got killed.

Sad as it is it led to a frequently had debate with my father, saying that i take after my father not just in looks but also stubbornness any "debate" we may enter never gets resolved unless one person brings scientific evidence acceptable in the court of law.

"Matt", he says, "see there's the proof, polar bears are the top of the food chain"

See i disagree, and because of my impulse to jump in and prove my point that he is wrong im sat there, beads of sweat running down my temples and my teeth clenched under the pressure of someone speaking out there backside yet not wanting to jump in to the discussion because i dont have 3 hours spare.

After all humans, by the simple fact that we are everywhere and in general most confrontations with humans the polar bear loses.

After an excrutiating time of 24 seconds i cant stand it any longer.

"Dad, humans are the top of the food chain" the relief lasted for only a split second thanks to the big oafs opinions.

"No, Polar bears are" See not even a grown up response just NO IIIIIMMMM RIGHT or something like it, no reasoning, logic or anything that might make his point more correct.

"dad, if polar bears were the top they would be eating humans on a regularish basis to prove the fact, no i think youll find that they get shot or scared off or killed by global warming, all of which are caused by the guys above them, US!!"

I thought its over and saw his features (annoyingly close to my own) looking back over to the TV with the ever present gorm that overtakes my dads face when he watches TV.
I cant beleive it, I won 


Thats the beauty with dad, i can be sat in the bliss of being right and proving it for a good half an hour before the programme finishes, his gorm diminishes and suddenly....

"Well you put a human in a field on his own against a polar bear and see who wins"

The closest to suicide i can get within a normal day is having differing opinions to my father.....

Flowers and Backpain

Ive got the flower shop job that ive been so relentlessly going on about for the past couple of weeks.

Being a pansey with flowers? no today i was shifting scrap and huge ceramic displays. I feel like an old man, a satisfied old man but still a "crisp" none the less ("crisp" is a thin, wrinkly and easily breakable person).

However on the whole its nice work that isn't too hard, nice people and regular pay
Now that's a tad better than my other option, where i would of been walking the random streets of a random city in the random east midlands. I would be knocking on doors and trying to convince whatever tatooed numpty who answers the door to give 2 quid a week to charity. What makes it better is that i would only be payed commission, oh yeh and id be going for 12 hours a day........

So overall a good day of being payed for lugging crap around, could be worse i suppose, well i did get soaked outside in the yard. How can it be so hot when its raining?!!!!!!

Paracetamol is a painkiller

I am going to get ribbed for this next sentence by all of you...

Mum I know your going to rib me for the following post......

I havnt done a post for a couple of days for a couple of reasons, most of all because i forgot but also cus i havnt felt so well. Which leads me to my main point, why when your ill does your mum keep on at you  to take paracetemol?

Dont get me wrong its a wounderous substance that has taken away the headaches of many a long and boring lesson or maybe even the dull ache caused by the dodgy curry the night before.

For this purpose its brilliant, however when im ill there is one problem i have.

aside from the fact that i already feel like heaving without swallowing a solid capsule,painkillers are for pain.

if i had a headache or some sort of pain then yeh great but i feel ill not in pain.

And so i sit to my own business looking paler every minute with a couple of parents on at me to take pills which as far as i can work out arnt designed to help me in this situation. Dont get me wrong, it never gets to the point where there force feeding me..... Ive never let it get that far.

So here is the question, do painkillers kill nausea? As the name suggests no blatently not, if there is a nausea killing pill tell me and i wont hesitate to pop them instead.