THE LINK OF THE DAY and chapter 3

Today's BIG Fail - Angry Bottle Rocket
This video makes me laugh so much the sound makes it better and this is my monday magical link i might do more lets see how it goes hey.

I NEED FEEDBACK. and not by emailing my google account ben, by actually commenting on my blog, or emailing me at mattleigh2@hotmail.co.uk or maybe if you find it easier comment under the link on facebook as it hasnt got a layout invented by the idiot who did blogger. SOo moany different screens to do one thing.

ANYWHO i digress. I need feedback because at the moment it is chapter 3 of my three week book marrathon and martin is trapped in his hotel room without anything he can really do. PLS PLS feedback cus im crap at inventing a story line and im sure the 7 followers plus the readers who have nothing else to do on FB can come together to make a better one than i can do. plus now ive done 2 chapters i cant really stop now.

Chapter 3

Harringtons laywers firm, central office

"i could of had him Paul I could of had him"

Johns face was a picture, his latest case was a Mr Martin sommers and he was guilty. Blood everywhere, fingerprints, it was him and all he had to do now was arrive at court and ask the jury and they would say yes well that should of happened, but yet again he lost his cool.

"John, its three days and he will be back in court and you can convict him then, i mean its a strong case and his DNA everywhere"

Paul wasnt really paying attention to John and was spending his time munching an apple, reading the metro. something that to him was more interesting than the whines from John.

"yes i know that , but for god sake man, something isnt right with his motive, i mean hes a big guy this martin, its not like he would have to kill her for what he wanted"

Sweat beaded from his head, air con was out, again.

"John, hes a sick perverted maniac with a liking for women who dont fight back. Nothing else to it. I know it you know it and more importantly the jury know it now for God sake shut your face and get me a brew."

and thats what he did. even though the machine was about as useful as a community support officer. John had been working law for years. once a laywer you have a job for life. Especially when the economy goes. no money means more desperation which means more murders. Because of this John knew his job very well.

freinds and contacts in the police made him the wanted lawyer. He could get anyone behind bars if he wanted too although recently he was losing his cool in the court. Doesnt help when you have a newborn in the house, screaming until god knows when and obviously affecting his work. His wife Sarah, was responsible for that little gem, forgetting to take her daily pill.

Aside from the sick on the suite and the sleepless nights it wasnt so bad however. he had a family. The only problem is when your trying to convict someone for murder and you cant tell the difference between obvious and blatent evidence and the hunch that theres more to a case. This was why he had organised for sarah and the baby to move in with his mothers, hell for her but at least it meant he could get these few cases out of the way and get some sleep.

John was on his way back to his phone when he heard his phone ringing, carrying two teas isnt the most practicle way to pick a phone.

"Paul, could you get that mate im out of hands"

Paul diddnt even walk across from his office, he just looked through the glass partition opened the door behind him and rolled his chair from where he was sat to where Johns phone was. one lazy yet impressive sweep.

"Yeh, Harringtons, John saunders' office, who do i have the PLEASURE of talking to"

"Its a client you utter prat"

Paul knew it was a client and just stuck up his middle finger with a cheeky grin that could beat a five year old boy. after a lot of bull crapping over the phone he eventually passed it back to John who had only just put the teas down, and rolled back into his room yet again with no effort and landed back in front of the metro.

" Yes John saunders what can i do for you"

"I understand you are the man in charge of the Martin sommers prosecution"

"Yes thats correct can i ask who im talking to"

"are you still taking evidence?"
John was taken back, more evidence? that wasnt possible the evidence was huge already he could already take sommers down without a second thought. The problem is that it was almost certainly a prank call.

"im sorry who is this"

"i know something that may interest you mr saunders, your struggling over the idea of his motive ..."

"who is this, and how did you kn.."

"your quite right to be unsure, that wasnt his motive he wasnt after free sex mr saunders"
sweat was streaming down his face now and nothing to do with the air con.

"hang on ill write this down"

"i know why she died mr saunders, and i can prove it. we will be in touch"

"wait, hello. Dammit"

the phone was dead.

Chapter 2, and why you shoudlnt get me doing DIY

decking, is silly stupid and ridonkulous. What purpose does it serve? what is it for? whats more why get me to help buid it im not strong, i have no practicle sense and i cba. "its a beautiful day matt why not come help me"

ill tell you why, its hot, ill burn, ill sweat and then ill feel tired. anyways my miniture rant over. Chapther two and we have martin sommers a man who is in court for murder of a prostitute. we dont know if he has done it but thats up to you lot. thanks for the comments sandersons and i will take what you said into consideration but noone really said WHAT should happen nextso this is off of my head again. please leave your comments on what you think should happen in chapter 3.

Chapter 2

Martin was a tall man of thin stature and his seemingly mellow impression made him look like a stiff breeze could knock him over. Like all prisoners at the time his head was shaved and mysterious bruises started to appear from nowhere.

he had three days break before being sent back to court and inevitably prison and there was nothing he could really do about it. The only comfort he could find himself with was in the subtle overtones of alchohol from the bottle at his side. Not that it would help mind against the stress caused by an overcrowded prison and the constant deprivation on the steets. The country was at its knees and as a result everything slipped. Even the gravediggers are on strike which diddnt sit well with martin because he knew he was in for the death sentence, which meant he would be in a fridge as part of another pile of bodys waiting to be buried.

Martin diddnt live in the city and so he spent his time in some sort of B+B however it was more like a bed sit. The walls hadnt been cleaned since 2010 and the floor was covered with discarded cans.

"Look mate you wanna stay here? then itll be 50 a night no questions asked"

"50 is extortionate i have 20 for the three days its not like you have a quality institution"

"insult my institution means you insult me and that wont get you a room will it!"

The owner was a over 6'5 and built like a house, not surprising that when martin was put up against the wall he couldnt think straight for the next five minutes.

"Now listen here you lanky piece of crap, its 50 a night take it or leave it but you DONT disrepect my apartments? Is that clear?"

Martin just nodded. his face screwed up like a boy hu had just been smacked for stealing sweets. He payed that 50 a night and what it got him was a pile of springs for a bed and maggoty bread for the breakfast. That would have to do.

He sat on his bed not sleeping but thinking for the first night. what had happned was a mystery even for him, he couldnt even be sure he had killed her ...

"Yes, im out of prison for the moment.... yes i know its bad.... well i dont know thats the thing........ listen its not as bad as it sounds Mark... no i will have your money.... no the police diddnt get at it... and they dont know..... no Mark give me a week just a week and you will have it..... and the money yes....... no its not with me... but i know where it is... mark? mark?..........."

the phone was dead. Mark was a close associate of Martin and had been working with him for a while. The powder was his game, in these times even martin was involved. He was a brilliant accountant and when there is no honest men with accountancy to be done then the only money is with the dishonest ones.

and a hell of alot of it if you knew where to find it. Martin was an expert at it. the only problem with being so filthy rich is when everyone else isnt, they start to ask questions. A murder suspect with his hands in dirty money and powder = guilty and he knew it. so he was living off the 200 pounds he had snuck with him.

another problem is that when you work in the trade Martin worked in no money was yours. it was always your bosses. the money you did get was your running costs and nothing else. This meant that the £30,000 pounds he was carrying when he was about to be arrested would make him even more guilty and would mean that your boss was also hunting you down for it.

as it happens martin had hidden it in a bin. When covered in somone elses blood with the police after you it seems like the most sensible thing to do. as it happens it would still be there as the bin men were always on strike. But when your a suspected murderer people tend to follow you. Martin had decided to keep tight for the moment but the dealer, Mark was not so understanding on the phone and it wouldnt be long before there would be a bang at the door with Mark and two bull terriers behind it.

The only option he had was to sit and wait for the door to open. sit and wait for a feasible way out of this, whatever happened he needed that money.

3 WEEK COME BACK,,,,,,,,,,CHAPTER 1

ok excluding yesterday i have been gone 3 weeks and there will be no more of this dissapearing nonsense. As pay back for the 21 days of absence i am going to write a book...... most of you dont read i know but for those who have nothing better to do aside from read my blog it can be quite entertaining. one chapter for everyday ive missed which is 21 chapters. NOT ONLY that but im only going to do one chapter by myself. after this chapter i will leave it up to you lot and your comments, which i will then put into the second chapter. the idea being that even i do not know what will happen until i write it. GOOD EY?

Chapter 1

"Martin Sommers you have been convicted of murder and you stand here before this court accused guilty. What is your plee"

"Not guilty" he mouthed

with that plee the trial was short and overwhelming. he could not afford a lawyer especially not it these times. The recession that had hit three years before had hit hard again apart from now the worst happened. The great depression seemed miniscule compared to what was happening at that time.

"May i display our first piece of evidence, Item A"

The prosecution they had was professional presice and therefore deadly. The lack of work or economy meant the lack of prisons and the lack of prisons meant that execution for murderers was common.

"this is the item of clothing worn by mr summers on the night of the incident and as you can clearly see it is stained heavily with what we have confirmed as the blood of the victim. now mr sommers perhaps you would like to explain how that happened?"

" I dont know "

" You dont know, im sure you realise how bizarre that sounds mr sommers. You were covered in the blood of your victim and you were found with the body and you just dont know how?"

"thats correct sir"

"well that is most unfourtunate but we also found the knife she was killed with mr sommers and im sure your aware of your fingerprints on the handle. Come come now mr sommers dont make this hard for yourself, you killed her and we all know you did now why dont you just admit it"

"i diddnt even know her sir"

"SHE WAS A HIRED GIRL MR SOMMERS. YOU DIDDNT NEED TO KNOW HER"

The judge stood to attention
"calm yourself!"

"SHE WOULDNT LET YOU HAVE IT FOR FREE AND SO YOU KILLED HER MR SOMMERS"

"i did no such thing, i diddnt even touch her"

"so perhaps you would like to explain what happened or do you not know mr sommers?..."

The laywer turned to the jury

"...we all know what happened here. Martin sommers is a perverted man who likes to keep himself in the company of prostitutes and whores..."

"No"

"... he couldnt keep to his own bargain and pay and so he killed for the right for his treatment to be free..."

" i diddnt kill her"

"So what did happen mr sommers? or dont you know? You were all over the crime scene mr sommers you are guilty"

"no im not"

"you can provide no alibi no evidence to support yourslf mr sommers what happened?"

"I DONT KNOW"

"ORDER IN THIS COURT"
the judge was booming authority over the argument and instantly everyone in the room turned towards him.

"mr sommers is obviously quite distressed, we cannot carry on this trial today. Court adjurned for three days, mr sommers you will be here or you will be automatically assumed guilty do you understand?"

"yes sir"

"COURT ADJURNED"
And with the hammer Martin had three more days.


chapter 2

chapter 3

The intelligence of chavs

today my blog post is all about the chavs that were so kind to "intorduce" themselves to me today on the way home. since i diddnt get a chance to drag them off there little bmx's and cave there heads in with my size 12 feet im going to tlk about them on here so that anyone like them can read it.

First impressions
when you have something in your hair you take it out right? unless its meant to be there (girly stuff lol) so thats what i did today, whilst doing so these "hard, cool and quite awesome" people come round the corner on there bikes. "DOIN' 'UR 'AIR LIKE A GAY FATBOY!"

lets just say i thought they were so hard so cool and you know what i really feel like being like them........
first impression = twats

Intelligence levels
quite high actually, in the 20 second interval of riding past on ther bikes (in the middle of radcliffe road, not surprised or sad if they get ran over) they managed to not only remember that a guy doing his hair means hes obviously gay in their society, but they also saw that i was slightly chubby and would probably take offence by being called fat.

When they did all of that they then put all of these things into a sentence. much more practise they'll be writing books.

Why?
well i can see the fun of drubbing someone i do it all the time. there are some conditions to that though.

1. you know the person well
2. your there long enough to see there reaction
3. your a man (not being sexist its just a phrase) and take the consequences

they did none of these.
i dont know them so who the hell they think they are taking the piss out of me, chav ba*tards.

they missed the best part i mean they diddnt even wait to see me frown and off they are giggling away, i mean if that was a joke they laughed just BEFORE the punchline.... hahaha hilarious.

and the fact that they havnt been man enough to take my kicks to there sodding face just proves that puberty is still ten years away. even i who is a mild centred guy has peved someone enough for them to hit me and everytime ive taken it. in fact ive been man enough to take hits or p' takes of of chav idiots like them without reason and im just a gay fatboy doin my hair.

Had enough?
so have i and to be honest so has the country if you agree with me then your normal if not then why not i would love to know if they have a moral ground to stand on.

im starting a group on facebook which i will comment on the side of the link if you agree with me please join because to be honest if its seen as ok to do this then i think people need a SHARP reminder that they are the arrsewipe of society.

excuse my french in this post but ive kind of had enough of this stuff and so has most other people.

The ten top ways to be drubbed at youth group

first off i must explain the term drubbing for any adult or any emmanuel going person who has got no idea what the hell i am talking about.

drubbing = taking the mick out of.....
or
drubbed = to have the mick taken out of you/ someone/ insert name here

the word derives from kenny drubblestene who had the top halo gamerscore and so you would be drubbed if you got killed when playing halo. it then spread to general use.

like in this countdown

1. acting gay without a punchline.
well theres a time and a place for acting gay at youth. when its in the most sarcastic manner and when you know that at least 1.5 people will laugh or giggle. This is called acting gay with a punchline. and all those that just act gay because they can, sam, will be drubbed.

2. naming your bicepts
matt you better be happy that i keep mentioning you it wont be happening for long lol.

3.explaining an innuendo
the great part of british culture is our great ability to make something slightly unclean yet hilarious with just a tone of voice or one simple word. The big failing on some of the youth group i.e Tom cast, is that as soon as the said joke is finished they feel the need to giggle and then blurt out in the middle of church what the joke was actually referring to. that makes a very awekward situation it also ceases to make the joke funny.

4.talking to daniel joseph ley
this isnt bad in itself but is a garuntee to be drubbed. hes brilliant at it and will do it as soon as given a chance. nowadays he results to either a facepalm (putting your palm to your face to simbolise the persons stupidity) or just using the term burke with expert precision.

5.stating that you have just lost the game.
yes i know the rules state that once you lose it you must tell everyone but unfourtunately at youth group its happening even more just annoy other members. this is perhaps one of the most efficient ways to be drubbed and will happen if you state the two word sentence. It makes it worse for certain people because of associations we have with the game that make us feel physically repulsed (like the mother worm)

6.mock "the Steve"
it should never happen. "the Steve" is the pastor of our church and for a long period of time ed kept saying he was the fourth in the trilogy of God, Father, son, holy spirit and the steve. wether he was joking or just being blatently blasphemus is irelevent. "the Steve" is in high respect and should be spoken about in the same regard. we love you steve!!

7.Knock the cup over
is it wrong to knock someones drink over? yes it is yet alot of the younger ones plus dan like to do this. this is an obvious way to annoy the owner of the drink and therefore to be drubbed. why do it guys i mean it may only be a polystyrene cup but its a drink at the end of the day.

8.talk in service
i am guilty as charged on this one and so is alot of the youth group. we should be quiet in church but its so tempting to annoy ben rowe. this happens alot and usually the person committing the crime will be drubbed by dave.

9.failing to drubb someone else
yet another one tom cast is guilty of. when drubbing someone else for whatever reason it may be it is ALWAYS worse to fail the drub. you can do this by:

• mumbling your words
• having a backchat that was more effective than your original drubb
• or failing to have a suitible reason for your drubb. (usually answered back with "can it")

if your going to do it, do it right.

10. backing up a drubbee
if someone is being drubbed its for a good reason. defending them is the equilivant of taking that drubb for yourself. this normally happens when somebody doesnt understand we are only drubbing and think we are just being mean. (abi wendels)

heres a picture of our church where this crazy stuff usually happens

Stupid facebook groups that are definately wrong

Ok you know those ridiculous girly groups that are called something ridiculous like

"the top ten ways to know that your relationship is a good one"

well i clicked onto one of these when i was bored and have come to the conclusion that not only was it written by a women who has just got into a relationship but also has fundemental rules which are wrong.

so today i'm going to scrutinise every single rule with my powers of sceptisism for your "enjoyment"

1. Whenever you are with them, nothing else in the world matters.

wrong

well sort of

on the face of it not a bad rule but "nothing" else matters and "noone" else matters are two different things. this one says nothing and i have seen it before when someone sacrifices GCSE results or there relationship with family for some lad. overall its an ok rule but more thought into it would be gud...... (remember im being sceptic about these so take all of these with a pinch of salt)

2. He calls you beautiful or gorgeous instead of hot or sexy.

wrong

appearances are what first makes someone interested. so if your still going on about it when in the middle of a relationship...... plus have you never thought that the boy saying thes nice things might know he's making you feel good. you = round his little finger. overall how can you ever predict what a relationship will be like through what someone says?

3.3. You think about them all day long, and dream about them every night.

wrong

you try thinking about one thing all day, go on i dare you

4. They are the first and last voice you hear.

wrong

well what if you dont live with your boyfreind? then your in a bit of a pickle when you want there voice to be the first you hear.

5.Even if your parents don't want you being together you stay together.

wrong

this rule doesnt predict a good relationship. just proves you disagree with your parents. plus there must be a good reason for your parents to dislike your boyfreind.

6. They can drive you crazy and yet you still wanna always be around them.

right

yepp pretty true i mean who wants to be in a relationship with someone they don't want to be around? i mean everyone is annoying at times.

7. You don't have to worry about losing them to anybody.

right

yepp trust is the key. i love phrases like that

8.Religious matters don't get in the way.

wrong

the person who wrote this is obviously an atheist. religous matters? religion is a faith people have and therefore is more important than a boyfreind or girlfreind. which means its not the religion in the way its the relationship in the way of the faith. now thats serious scrutinisation!!

9. They understand your schedulel can't always fit them in.

wrong

you try booking a boyfreind slot into your timescale. by doing that instantly there a hobby not a relationship. hmm bet u never thought i could call this one wrong hey?

10.They will give you your space and respect you.

wright

see what i did there.

yeh first half is right second half is a blatent obviousness and shouldnt even have to be included. why enter a relationship without respect.

so out of ten i figure 2.5 of the rules to be right thats 25% of there rules right.

not a good percentage by that is it now?

thats the end of my rant and now for some mentions

remember to look at the other blogs around at the side >

also matt wendels wanted me to mention him.

so ill do the generous thing and give him two

1. the titans still good?

2. still a fan of the mother worm?